So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
you never un-have a 4some
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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