The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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