if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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