I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
