UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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