she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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