The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
