Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
