four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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