i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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