You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
