I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
