At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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