So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
