exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
