Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
