You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
