I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
