omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
