he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
