I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
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My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
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Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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