About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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