I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
