Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
