Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
