this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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