I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My hand turned me down
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize