We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
