The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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