ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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