new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And then the night went full on bisexual.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
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