YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
