i think my tv is drunk
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
