I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm having to shit out rocks
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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