Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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