This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
