he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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