I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
