Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
