I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
