Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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