I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
