I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
