ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
