i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
