My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
And then he peed in my hair
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