every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
