There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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