I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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