I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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