she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
