Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
there is glitter all over my balls
Shame is for Republicans.
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