Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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