im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
