He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
