Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Even my vagina gasped.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
