shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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