ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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