see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
