Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
