We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
