Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
